Inducing Emotions

Induced Emotion, Re: PANIC

A woman from my hometown of Youngstown, Ohio, was arrested for "inducing panic" at a local drugstore.

  

It seems that she became frustrated waiting for a clerk to ring her out.  So she screamed that the store was being robbed.  Her screams quickly brought a clerk to the checkout.  However, after the store crew realized her ruse, they called the law.  They had the impatient woman arrested for "inducing panic."

This story has made me wonder about all of the other possible crimes of inducing emotion.  Can I have my mother arrested for inducing guilt? Should my robo-calling elected official be arrested for inducing anger?   Should Max at Pasta Plus be arrested for providing such a great meal that he induces  gluttony and then lethargy?  And what about other small town bloggers, who are so much better chroniclers of local stories that they induce my envy?  

I say, "away with them all."  Anyone who causes such strong involuntary emotions should have to do at least a few days in the Laurel city jail, or some community service to help them kick their inducing habit.  

I will be waiting on my porch for Laurel's lawmen to book me for inducing boredom.  You may be called to testify.